Land of Garage

Well, I messed up big time.  I set out to do something and I've already forfeited my efforts to other seemingly more important tasks.  My goal of blogging daily, or at least 3 times a week, has gone terribly awry.  However, it is never too late to change.

Let me quickly recount the Kolp's and Adkisson's experiences of hosting a garage sale.  First of all, never try this alone.  It will almost definitely leave you heartbroken or enraged.  We experienced both emotions on a fairly regular basis during this two day ordeal.  For starters, we thought we would do ourselves a favor by skipping off to Wally World and purchasing the pre-labeled garage sale stickers.  Upon arriving at home, we immediately sank into a hopeless state of despair when we realized we had HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of items to label.  But we are movers and shakers, so we set out to do the impossible.  After "sticking" several sections of items to death, we took several lengthy breaks to sip on some refreshing white wine (kindly donated by our dear neighbors who noticed our high strung demeanor's).  I also found a comfy chair for sale and sank in deep, finding my new niche in the job sector.  I was now the coordinator.  While Jonathan, Dan, and Rebecca were sticker slap happy, I got to be the boss.  It was wonderful.  After getting the stink-eye several minutes later from my lowly servants, I gave up my dictatorship and resumed my meager and lowly job of labeling every pitiful little item.

That took a good 8 hours.  After stumbling deliriously inside, we set out to make garage sale signs.  Then we made a pretty little money box with correct change inside for the cheapos who would pay us in pennies, nickels, and dimes.  Nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying. We slapped each other high-five, then off to bed we went.  For 2 hours.

I, of course, was the first to wake, being that I am the most OCD prone member of this family.  I quickly set out to make this a garage sale to remember.  I figured that by waking an extra hour early, I would get a head start on getting things set up before shoppers appeared.  Dead dead dead wrong.  As soon as the garage door squealed open and I had taken a step into the garage, they started to appear.  Like little mice looking for a nice little crumb or a warm little bed.  I started to panic and got everything out as quickly as possible.  Rebecca and I had spent hours arranging all of our adorable little nick-knacks on tables the night before and everything looked to be in shape.  That is until the first customer arrived and asked if the "tables" were for sale.  I said, "Sure, which ones were you interested in?"  She said, "All of them".  I looked at her dumbfounded and clarified again.  She, looking annoyed, repeated herself.  "Ok", I gulped.

So, all of our work fell to the wayside.  We frantically began wiping all the delicate items off of each of the tables (I think this lady bought a total of 8 tables all together.  We were left with just one to hold our belongings on.) and hauling the furniture to the waiting vehicle.  Nice, really nice.  So, our perfect little garage sale ended up being a ghetto little garage sale with all the items strewn about on the dirty garage floor.

Thankfully, most of our stuff was purchased throughout the two day ordeal.  Although, I do feel obligated to record just a few of the treasured conversations from those long days.  Enjoy.

CRAZY LADY #1

Me:  "Ok, ma'am, that will be $6 for all your stuff."
Her:  "Six bucks????  I'll give you $5."
Me:  "$5.50 and we'll call it good."
Her:  (Looking lost and confused and confounded)  "Well, I just don't know.  I mean, this is all junk to me."
Me:  Then why are you buying our junk, genius??  I didn't say this, I only thought it.  "$5 is fine."
Her:  Thrilled to death at her wheeling and dealing, she gave me a toothy grin and was on her way.

CRAZY LADY #2

(Rebecca was selling a decorative glass bowl with pretty little marbles in it and this older woman wants to purchase it for $3 instead of $5.  Rebecca gives in.)

Woman:  "Wait a minute!  This here bowl is broke!! Why would I pay money for something that's broke?  I don't want no piece o' junk"!  (She is speaking very loudly at this point.  We ignore her.  The bowl was NOT broken.)
Re:  "Well, then you don't have to buy it."
Woman:  "I swear, I saw the men ripping your signs down!" (We had set up 3 signs within our subdivision.  They were well secured.)  "The good Lord as my witness, but they were tryin' to sabotage you're garage sale!  I didn't know what they was doin', but I swear I saw them jump out and rip the sign down!  I bet you the PO-lice will be here any minute cuz this here is illegal!  Don't say I didn't warn you!  The Lord is my witness!"  (She repeated her story 2 more time while browsing through our items.  We bid her farewell then checked the signs out of sheer curiosity after she left.  They were all untouched.  Crazy lady.)

Lesson Learned:  We choose our battles to fight.  Sometimes it's necessary to forfeit the small ones in order to focus on and conquer the big battles.